Willpower, Writing & Irony

I am currently embarking on a PhD in Leadership.  Well I have a hurdle or two to get through but at this stage I will be starting stage 1 in a few weeks.  In my research into doing a PhD, and yes I have heard the horror stories, I came across a constant piece of advice.  That piece of advice is make sure sure you write everyday.  I then thought how do I get into a discipline of writing every day.  Let's face it I can get very busy with work, travel, exercise and social engagements (Spring carnival anyone!).  I then look at someone like Jane who works with me in Brisbane.  She is about to have her fourth child and is able to churn out an entertaining and informative blog along with managing her very busy life. 

I was reminded of my last blog entry back in October 2011.  Yes, 12 months ago!! It was after I read a book about willpower and the importance of discipline.  It seems that things got in the way and I made time for the urgent things but maybe not the important things. Or maybe I lacked discipline.  Recently I read another book about Willpower by Kelly McGonigal and was reminded - again- that willpower is something that needs to be practised.  I now mindfully meditate 10 mins per day every second day as a way of practising.  But I don't write that often and if I think about the requirements of doing a PhD I know I need to get in the groove of deliberately practising writing.

So my willpower challenge is to write on this blog 3 times per week for the next 12 months. Not everyday but it is doable.  I hope that it will be interesting and thought provoking and either way if I stick to doing it I am sure I will get better at writing as well as provide discipline for doing a PhD.

For those interested in Kelly McGonigal's work - See this youtube clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbjjIId54g8

Willpower & Self Control

I have just finished the book Willpower by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney and found it enlightening both professionally and personally.  The authors contend that willpower is like a muscle that can tire but can also strengthened.  I then reflected on my own willpower and my level of self control and discipline and I have to admit that it was lacking.  There are things I have excellent elf control and willpower like running, eating reasonably well (having dessert once a week!) and there are areas I struggle - writing blogs, taking time out to build the business and conversely not thinking about the business.  One area that I really liked was the importance of doing the basic things right to enable yourself to focus your willpower on things that matter - It was these little things like making your bed, doing the dishes rather than leaving them, having the right food in the fridge or pantry, keeping things tidy and orderly, that got me thinking.  If we procrastinate on the little things how on earth do we have enough willpower for the important things in our life.  It made me realise that self discipline and self control are underrated and my aim is to be come more disciplined in the basic things to enable me to use greater willpower where it really matters - Now off to the do the dishes from last night :)

What triggers you?

We are all imperfect in a perfect way and based on our experiences in life and the way we were brought up we all have areas that trigger us.  It may be situations the trigger an emotional reaction or other people.  Part of our emotional and self awareness is to understand what triggers us and how we can manage our reactions.  This is vital in our relationships and in the workplace.  I always take the view that if I understand what triggers me then I am in a better position to choose my response.  I don't always get it right but I have spent time getting to know myself and my experiences to better understand what triggers my emotions.  We know from the neuroscience research that a key element of managing our emotional reactions is to to kick start the rational side of the brain.  We can do this through normalising our response through our thoughts or even using systemic labelling to provide a metaphor for the emotion that is coming up.  We know that the quicker the rational part of the brain kicks in the better chance we won't be hostage to an emotional "overreaction".

So what triggers you?

Deliberate and Purposeful Practice

I love this quote

"the fight is won or lost far away from the witnesses, behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road; long before I dance under those lights"

Muhammad Ali

One of the keys to effectiveness and improved performance is to purposefully practice what you want to get better at.  Many people believe they will naturally get better but rapid improvement requires attention and intention.  Think about how hard it would be to learn a language or improve your golf score if you tackled either in an informal way.  So to improve you need to break down the key elements of the skill and focus on practicing  those elements.  One of my clients has wanted to get better at having difficult conversations - We broke the skills into different parts and the area for improvement was managing emotions and scripting the conversations.  I then asked her to think of 10 difficult conversation she has had over the past 12 months and to spend time scripting those conversations.  We went through each script to identify any area for improvements.  The coachee now completes a script prior to every difficult conversation and now we are working on managing her emotions.  Improvement has been made!

So if you want to get better - allocate formal time and practice!!

Creating time for reflection

Late last week I had the pleasure of having a couple of wisdom teeth out and was in recovery for 4 - 5 days over the long weekend. One of the advantages that this time out gave me was to reflect on the first 6 months of the year.  What had been the highlights, the learning experiences, workshops I was proud of, areas for improvement and coaching breakthroughs.  The time to reflect can often seem a luxury but it enabled me to create some space for learning and ideas.  It is often easy when we are busy both personally and professionally to not create the time but it is incredibly beneficial.  Without reflection and attention it is hard to make the mindful, changes we often aspire to.  So how often do you create time for genuine reflection

Multiplier v Diminisher

One of the books I read recently was called multipliers by Liz Wiseman.  The premise of this book is that managers can "multiply" capability and engagement in an organisation or they can do the opposite and therefore known as a diminisher. 

Today I met with a colleague to discuss the book and how it might be implemented into organisations.  In many technically based organisations we often see individuals promoted and operate as a Super Individual Contributor - Rather than just doing their own job they end up trying to do everyone's role within their team often resulting in squashing the engagement, passion and capability of the people who report to them.  Why do they do that?  Again, like an earlier blog it can often be about control - the more I control the more I can cope.  So what are the steps to become a multiplier?  Wiseman talks about 5 key discplines that Multipliers exhibit.

They include:

• Attract & Optimise talent - Do you attract good people or are you losing them.  The best people want to work for the best bosses
• Create intensity that requires best thinking - They create a motivating environment where people are free to think, debate and find the space to do their best work.  They liberate.
• Extend Challenges - They challenge people, groups and generate the belief that it can be done.
• Debate decisions - Drive sound decisions through rigorous debate,
• Instil ownership and accountability - They hold people accountable for their commitments and create an environment where individuals hold themselves accountable.

I liked the model and can see it working well in a technical based organisation as long as work was done in a  coaching sense around helping managers let go of control to enable them to become multipliers.

The Importance of Feedback

As we work with our clients we find many of examples where people struggle to provide feedback.

How will the other person react?  What if they get upset?  I have already told them many times before.

We know that feedback delivered in a constructive way is the cheapest, most powerful, yet, most under used  tool that we have at our disposal. It is is a great way people get on track and it enbales people to build greater self awareness.

Feedback can also be very motivating and energising. It has strong links to employee satisfaction and productivity.

So what stops you from delivering constructive feedback and who is missing out on feedback from you today.  Remember every time you don't give someone feedback you deny them a learning opportunity.  So go on, go and give someone some feedback that you may have been putting off.

andrew@agilityconsulting.com.au