Willpower & Self Control

I have just finished the book Willpower by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney and found it enlightening both professionally and personally.  The authors contend that willpower is like a muscle that can tire but can also strengthened.  I then reflected on my own willpower and my level of self control and discipline and I have to admit that it was lacking.  There are things I have excellent elf control and willpower like running, eating reasonably well (having dessert once a week!) and there are areas I struggle - writing blogs, taking time out to build the business and conversely not thinking about the business.  One area that I really liked was the importance of doing the basic things right to enable yourself to focus your willpower on things that matter - It was these little things like making your bed, doing the dishes rather than leaving them, having the right food in the fridge or pantry, keeping things tidy and orderly, that got me thinking.  If we procrastinate on the little things how on earth do we have enough willpower for the important things in our life.  It made me realise that self discipline and self control are underrated and my aim is to be come more disciplined in the basic things to enable me to use greater willpower where it really matters - Now off to the do the dishes from last night :)

What triggers you?

We are all imperfect in a perfect way and based on our experiences in life and the way we were brought up we all have areas that trigger us.  It may be situations the trigger an emotional reaction or other people.  Part of our emotional and self awareness is to understand what triggers us and how we can manage our reactions.  This is vital in our relationships and in the workplace.  I always take the view that if I understand what triggers me then I am in a better position to choose my response.  I don't always get it right but I have spent time getting to know myself and my experiences to better understand what triggers my emotions.  We know from the neuroscience research that a key element of managing our emotional reactions is to to kick start the rational side of the brain.  We can do this through normalising our response through our thoughts or even using systemic labelling to provide a metaphor for the emotion that is coming up.  We know that the quicker the rational part of the brain kicks in the better chance we won't be hostage to an emotional "overreaction".

So what triggers you?

Deliberate and Purposeful Practice

I love this quote

"the fight is won or lost far away from the witnesses, behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road; long before I dance under those lights"

Muhammad Ali

One of the keys to effectiveness and improved performance is to purposefully practice what you want to get better at.  Many people believe they will naturally get better but rapid improvement requires attention and intention.  Think about how hard it would be to learn a language or improve your golf score if you tackled either in an informal way.  So to improve you need to break down the key elements of the skill and focus on practicing  those elements.  One of my clients has wanted to get better at having difficult conversations - We broke the skills into different parts and the area for improvement was managing emotions and scripting the conversations.  I then asked her to think of 10 difficult conversation she has had over the past 12 months and to spend time scripting those conversations.  We went through each script to identify any area for improvements.  The coachee now completes a script prior to every difficult conversation and now we are working on managing her emotions.  Improvement has been made!

So if you want to get better - allocate formal time and practice!!

Creating time for reflection

Late last week I had the pleasure of having a couple of wisdom teeth out and was in recovery for 4 - 5 days over the long weekend. One of the advantages that this time out gave me was to reflect on the first 6 months of the year.  What had been the highlights, the learning experiences, workshops I was proud of, areas for improvement and coaching breakthroughs.  The time to reflect can often seem a luxury but it enabled me to create some space for learning and ideas.  It is often easy when we are busy both personally and professionally to not create the time but it is incredibly beneficial.  Without reflection and attention it is hard to make the mindful, changes we often aspire to.  So how often do you create time for genuine reflection

Multiplier v Diminisher

One of the books I read recently was called multipliers by Liz Wiseman.  The premise of this book is that managers can "multiply" capability and engagement in an organisation or they can do the opposite and therefore known as a diminisher. 

Today I met with a colleague to discuss the book and how it might be implemented into organisations.  In many technically based organisations we often see individuals promoted and operate as a Super Individual Contributor - Rather than just doing their own job they end up trying to do everyone's role within their team often resulting in squashing the engagement, passion and capability of the people who report to them.  Why do they do that?  Again, like an earlier blog it can often be about control - the more I control the more I can cope.  So what are the steps to become a multiplier?  Wiseman talks about 5 key discplines that Multipliers exhibit.

They include:

• Attract & Optimise talent - Do you attract good people or are you losing them.  The best people want to work for the best bosses
• Create intensity that requires best thinking - They create a motivating environment where people are free to think, debate and find the space to do their best work.  They liberate.
• Extend Challenges - They challenge people, groups and generate the belief that it can be done.
• Debate decisions - Drive sound decisions through rigorous debate,
• Instil ownership and accountability - They hold people accountable for their commitments and create an environment where individuals hold themselves accountable.

I liked the model and can see it working well in a technical based organisation as long as work was done in a  coaching sense around helping managers let go of control to enable them to become multipliers.

The Importance of Feedback

As we work with our clients we find many of examples where people struggle to provide feedback.

How will the other person react?  What if they get upset?  I have already told them many times before.

We know that feedback delivered in a constructive way is the cheapest, most powerful, yet, most under used  tool that we have at our disposal. It is is a great way people get on track and it enbales people to build greater self awareness.

Feedback can also be very motivating and energising. It has strong links to employee satisfaction and productivity.

So what stops you from delivering constructive feedback and who is missing out on feedback from you today.  Remember every time you don't give someone feedback you deny them a learning opportunity.  So go on, go and give someone some feedback that you may have been putting off.

andrew@agilityconsulting.com.au

Learning Agility

In a coaching session recently one of my coachees talked about the difficulties they were facing in adapting to their new leadership role.  As we explored some of the challenges we identified the narrowness of this person's background or the lack of "opportunities" they had to really learn and adapt.  They were terrific in technical roles but their career had moved up with little diversity of experiences. In other words they hadn't had the opportunity to become an agile learner.

Michael Lombardo and Robert Eichinger (co-founders of Lominger International) explored agile learners in their book The Leadership Machine. Agile learners, their research found, thrive in new and difficult situations. They are clear thinkers who know themselves well and like to experiment. They also like to learn and can quickly apply new knowledge. Most importantly—and not surprisingly—agile learners deliver results, even in new situations.

How do we do this? There are a number of key elements. These include:

•   Seek experiences that are challenging and outside your comfort zone - These experiences force you to learn new things.  Your ability to learn enables you to survive and adapt to these challenging situations.

•  Seek out feedback on your performance, your strengths and development areas and use this feedback to continually refine your skills and behaviours. It is is critical to develop your self awareness.

•  Use a variety of learning strategies - Observe people around you, reflect on your experiences, keep a journal, use a coach, read widely, attend courses and adapt a trial and error approach.

 If you want to know more about learning agility and how to develop it then contact me on

andrew@agilityconsulting.com.au

Seeking to Understand - A Key to Building Relationships

A recent coaching session highlighted how critical authentic relationships are when trying to influence colleagues.  My coachee is an outcome and results driven person who has been successful and at some level questions "why change a winning formula".  It is something I see often and it reminds me of Marshall Goldsmith's great book "What got you here, won't get you there" At the senior level building authentic relationships is vital to success.  In fact the Center for Creative Leadership found in their research that one of the main things that gets people fired is poor relationships.  Good relationships are important and successful people are able to get the balance right between relationships and outcomes and let's face it good relationships will deliver successful outcomes.

At the heart of authentic relationships is seeking to understanding others.  Some tips on doing this include

Truly listen to the other person

How often do we truly listen to the other person?  To take the time to understand the where the other person is coming from.   Often what is happening is that each person is so intent on getting the other person to accept his or her own point of view, that they are not really listening to the other person at all. many people listen to speak rather than listen to hear.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes  

Try and understand where they are coming from?  Put aside your own interpretations and assumptions and seek to see the issue from their side. 

Assume positive intentions.

Come from a place that assumes positive intentions from the other person.  We rarely meet people who intentionally want to be negative or irritating.  People manifest their own control issues in a variety of different ways including being difficult or argumentative. 

These tips may sound like common sense but pressures of getting the task done can take us away from seeking where others are coming from.

andrew@agilityconsulting.com.au

Fall of the CEO and Rise of the Team

I am really enjoying re-reading Senior Leadership Teams - What it takes to make them great by Wageman, Nunes, Burruss and Hackman.  What I like about the book is that it challenges the thinking around whether a new paradigm of running a business is through the executive team as opposed to a "Heroic CEO".  What is interesting in our work is that so many senior teams talk about the need to be a high performing team and see it as an alternative leadership model to the omnipotent CEO but struggle to back up their words.  We hear about parental team management, silo driven behaviours and individuals focusing on their our own agendas.   But Executive Teams are indeed challenging to develop for a variety of reasons.  These include 

• The spotlight is on them – Every move is scrutinised and therefore it can impact on trust levels and drive individual agendas.

• The power dynamics are central to the operations of the group.  Every choice and decision impacts on the success and future of each individual.  The CEO is also the leader of the team and runs the business adding to this complexity.

• Accountability for performance can be a lot greater both from the Board and investors.

• Tension can exist between the cooperation needed to work as an enterprise team and the implicit competition of people who seek the CEO’s role.

• Individuals on the team are often stars in their own fields and practices and have been rewarded for outstanding individual competition

• Individuals play multiple roles that often conflict

 
These are significant challenges that we help senior teams overcome through our Senior Team Development Methodology.  If you have an interest in developing senior teams I would highly recommend the above book - It is a beauty.  If you want help in developing your senior team please see www.agilityconsulting.com.au

The Need for Control

In some recent coaching assignments we have seen how individuals use control to manage their "fear of failure" mindset.  It is an incredibly stressful to constantly be operating from a need to control.  The need for control can be manifested in many different ways including the need to be right,blaming others, not delegating, micro managing and perfectionism.  

We know from the neuroscience research that changing the brain structure is not easy unless you give focus attention to the change you desire.  We have encouraged our clients to ask themselves to become mindful (another topic in itself) and aware when their need for control comes up and challenge their thinking - "Is this the right thing to do or is this about my need for control?"  Challenging their emotional need to control with a rational perspective can start the change process. Bringing awareness to how control is manifested is the first step in making the change.

Agility Consulting Group & Thought Leadership

One of our values at Agility Consulting Group is Thought Leadership.  We see blogging as another way of sharing our content, ideas and thought leadership.  We aim to publish content in the areas of coaching, leadership development, neuroleadership, senior team development and talent management.

We are interested in having debate and discussion to advance the capability of leaders and senior teams across Australia and New Zealand.  If you want further information on who we are please see our website:

www.agilityconsulting.com.au